My Mother's Love Life: THE TYPE

I know you are familiar with my mother: Megan(formerly known as Dia, Rebelious, Susan Frezno, and 'Aunt Susan'). She is stunning. She's a NATURAL blond-haired, blue-eyed girl, who's so smart and available that it's not even funny. You're probably wondering, why is she single if she's so amazing?. Well, for being as spectacular as she is, she has some pretty high standards. So to help ya'll out, I'm gonna share some secrets that will be mandatory if you want her to even take a millisecond of her life to look in your general direction. You have to be:

1. Smart.
2. Likable.
3. Charismatic.
4. Decent looking. She's not totally about aesthetics.
5. Not overly offensive.
6. Nice.

You have to be all of these things. I gotta go. My phone's dying. Ciao!